Insider: Iran Will Sign Deal with Fingers Crossed

An insider source has told Philadelphia Exquirer that Iran’s president Hassan Rouhani is planning to sign any upcoming nuclear agreement with his fingers crossed behind his back. This adds a new layer of complexity for talks that have proved to be lengthy and controversial.

“Everyone knows that if you cross your fingers when you make a promise, it doesn’t count,” explained Tommy Bickle, legal expert at the John Hancock Demonstration Elementary School playground. Bickle has experienced this type of cheating first-hand during recess.

“We cannot discuss the details of the agreement at this moment,” said State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf, “but I can promise that someone from the State Department will be standing behind Rouhani when he signs to make sure he is not crossing his fingers. That is diplomacy 101.”

When questioned further about whether President Obama may try to utilize the finger-crossing trick, Harf said that the President reserves finger-crossing for domestic policies.