Mayor Kenney Pardons Wawa Gobbler
Mayor Jim Kenney spared the life of a Wawa Turkey Gobbler on Thanksgiving morning, continuing a long Philadelphia tradition. The hoagie, named Order Number 268, was on a classic 10…
Trump Promises to Increase Philly Murder Rate with ACA Repeal
In a speech this afternoon at the Loews Hotel, President Donald Trump promised that the repeal of the Affordable Care Act will result in an increase in murders in Philadelphia…
SEPTA Enlists “Ride the Ducks” to Provide Service During Strike
It’s been a hectic three days for Philadelphia since SEPTA union members decided to strike, but the oft-maligned Ride the Ducks bus-boats have returned to help…
Meet the Man Who Designed Hillary Clinton’s DNC Crown
When the DNC crowns Hilary Clinton the first female nominee of a major political party later tonight, they will place the traditional Democratic crown gently onto her hard head. Only…
Local Bean Business Booming in Advance of DNC Fart-in
Members of the Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign are planning what should be the largest fart-in in US history for this Thursday at the DNC, and that…
Coca-Cola Polar Bear Endorses Sugary Drink Tax
A polar bear famous for her appearance in Coca-Cola advertising has publicly endorsed Mayor Jim Kenney’s proposed sugary drink tax in clear defiance of her employer, the…
Councilman Mark Squilla Drops New Album
Mark Squilla announced the release of his debut EP called “District 1” this morning on his official Facebook page. The post included a link to his Bandcamp site…
Philly’s Brotherly Love Discovered in Ruins of Boyd Theater
After being lost for 44 years, Philadelphia’s Brotherly Love has at last been uncovered. Demolition crews at the site of the Boyd Theater contacted city officials Monday morning…
UPenn’s New Free Speech Rules to Combat “Safe Spaces”
The University of Pennsylvania announced radical revisions to their free speech code this week, hoping to curb the growth of “safe spaces” and political correctness on the campuses…
Former PA Supreme Court Justice Launches Porn Site
For every scandal there is a silver lining, and for one retired Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice recently caught up in the so-called “porngate” scandal, he’s…