Yearly Archives: 2015
Chris Christie’s Approval Rating Reaches Presidential Levels
According to a new poll released this week, Chris Christie’s approval rating has dropped to a remarkable 37%, proof that he is finally ready for presidency. “People…
Oscars Mispronunciation Guide Leaked
Here it is, Oscar buffs: the leak you’ve been waiting for! Various entertainment news sources have reported seeing a leaked version of the fabled Mispronunciation Guide for the…
Marijuana Community Garden Planned in Bella Vista
The Friends of Triangle Park announced today that the park will be reopening this spring as the east coast’s first marijuana community garden. The announcement comes after months…
Manayunk Woman Clears Mind During Yoga, Never Recovers
It started with a seemingly innocent hop on the bandwagon, but ended with a gruesome twist. Andrea Dioli of Manayunk suffered an intense episode of “empty-mindedness” during…
First Day of New PA Assembly Spent on Redecorating
The Pennsylvania General Assembly started off the new year as they always do: redecorating! New legislators were promptly sworn in so that the decorating could begin. State Rep. Jason Ortitay…
SEPTA Releases New Fragrance Line
SEPTA has unveiled a new line of three fragrances for women. The collection includes three perfumes inspired by the scents of Septa: B.O., Urine, and Brown Surprise. They were…